I wrote an article a few years ago about why Michael Singer was my favorite spiritual teacher, but Eckhart Tolle was my choice for top spiritual person. The distinction was, and is, that Singer’s ideas and delivery are the best while Eckhart’s basic persona is at the top of the heap.
Meaning, Eckhart could read a math textbook and I would watch. Why? Because he exudes presence and a total lack of ego which has the effect of eliciting the same from viewers.
It’s not enough to teach ‘be present’
What’s important for our purposes today is why Eckhart’s teachings didn’t also take the gold medal.
It’s simple: Eckhart teaches us about the paramount importance of living in the present moment BUT doesn’t go far enough in telling us how to do that.
My guess is that a lightbulb went off for most of you reading this. Because when Eckhart and other spiritual luminaries tell you to live in the present moment, I’ll bet your response is,
“I’d love to live in the present moment! But I can’t because my crazy mind constantly drags me off to the Bahamas and how much I hate me ex and thousands of other things I’d rather not be thinking about!”
And that is why I’m writing this article. Because I, like most of you, also find it hard to stay in the moment for any significant period of time.
As such, I’m always on the lookout for ways to enhance present moment living. Today’s “tool” for entering the present moment is a simple, four-word sentence:
Relax with what is.
Short. To the point. Which is what any cue or prompt like this needs to be if we’re going to use it.
How does this work?
A two-step process
Literally, any time you become aware that your mind has drifted into Thoughtlandia, simply do this two-step process.
1. Relax. Everywhere. Breathe deeply and slowly and relax your body, especially your head, neck, shoulders and chest area.
2. Ask yourself, “What is?” Meaning, what is in this present moment? That could be sounds, sights, feelings, thoughts…anything that is in your field of awareness.
And then just relax with that. No matter what it is.
Let’s illuminate how this works with some examples. First, some everyday scenarios.
-You’re driving home from work. About twenty minutes in, you realize that you can’t remember any of the drive because you got lost in thoughts. So you relax. Then look around. You see a blue sky with scattered, billowy clouds. Palm trees on the passing road. The Eagles “Hotel California” playing on the radio. You relax with all of it.
-You’re at the grocery store checkout line. The lady in front of you has ten coupons she’s trying to organize so the cashier can enter them. It’s taking forever. The bile rises up inside you alongside thoughts of, “Jesus Christ, are you serious? I’ll be here all day!” You notice this. Then you relax. Then take stock of ‘what is.’ You relax with the annoyed feeling. Relax with the music playing in the store. Relax with the food items you see in your cart.
-You’re at the beach watching a perfect sunset of dark pinks mixed with light oranges. You notice that you’re not enjoying it because your mind keeps intruding with, “Wow! This is great. So beautiful!” So you relax. And simply tell yourself that this sunset is ‘what is.’ That’s all. No need for thoughts. Just relaxing with what is.
This also works for bigger matters. Like what?
- Your spouse tears you a new $*#hole because you forgot to put the trash cans out on garbage pickup day. You HATE being talked to like that. It infuriates you. What do you do in that moment? Relax. Survey the moment. Frankly, there isn’t much else in your field of awareness but that feeling of anger. That’s the biggest ‘what is’ in that moment. So you relax with it…Then respond from a place of measured presence.
- Your boss tells you they thought you half-assed your presentation. That you didn’t put much effort into it. This deflates you. Depresses you. So you relax. With what? With those awful feelings. It’s everything in that moment. It doesn’t mean those feelings will disappear. But they’ll pass quicker the more you relax with them. And then you can deal with a rational self-critique of your work.
What does this tip all boil down to? It’s about relaxing with reality. It’s about not resisting reality.
Because reality is something that already is. And resisting what already is is pointless and futile.
The takeaway
Have these four words at your fingertips at all times. They’ll be the key that gives you access to any present moment.
Put them up on your refrigerator. Your car dashboard. Your bathroom mirror.
Relax with what is.
Thanks, Wendy. Glad it resonated! Have a great weekend wherever you are.
Glad this resonated, Wendy. As Ram Dass famously said, "We're all just walking each other home."